gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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