how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
