So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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