I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
