How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
