Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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