how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
