Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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