I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
