he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
