two words: eviction party
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Randomize
