No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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