yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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