I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
