how can u be prego again
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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