we're blogging at a bar
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
