Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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