Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
