Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
