i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's always time for handjobs
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
