R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize