im drinking this country out of the recession.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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