Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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