Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
