My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have post one night stand depression
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