Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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