Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
