"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
