Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
