you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
