I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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