god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
