After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize