Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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