So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
