I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
