According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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