i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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