just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
FUCK WHALES
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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