my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
