i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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