My room smells like vodka and shame
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
