And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
