when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
