sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
