this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
