Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize