Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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