i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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