Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
