We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
