I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
