I just made out with a guy for $7.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
