Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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