508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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