hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
