Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
