5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
