I want to have your abortion
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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