we're chasing vodka with high fives
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
