But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
